Live every day as if you were planning on sleeping with Hannibal.
Holy shit would my days be different. I asked my sister if she was assured by some magical good fairy that she would be sleeping with Mads in six months what would she do to prepare for that. The response was everything humanely possible to make herself more fit, healthy, educated and enlightened. I feel like my response was similar.
This got me thinking. What if I did start living my life as if I was going to sleep with Hannibal? Yes I know fictional character and not only fictional total psychotic but he is hot as hell. The last man I was with was the complete opposite of the ideal that I want in a worthy partner. I won’t be making that mistake again but I should be working towards being the person that I would want to know.
So lets use this as a motivator. What would I do differently if I knew in six months from today I could be with a man like Hannibal?
- Never skip the gym again. No excuses, tired, foot hurts, butt hurts, depressed. Unless something is broken and I am screaming in pain I must go to le gym.
- stop eating white processed shit or a diet similar to the Honey BooBoo clan.
- Eat homemade foods, stop dining out on again Honey BooBoo clan food, get your daily fill of vegetables, lean proteins and fruit.
- Cut out gluten and replace with better alternatives. I googled my skin conditions and all the signs point to gluten intolerance and sugar. Fuck you donuts you sexy murderous sluts.
- Start a yoga and abs challenge. If I were to sleep with Hannibal I need to be bendy with a strong core. That man used to be a dancer, he has got stamina.
-study Ayruveda texts which is based on the belief that health and wellness depend on a delicate balance between the mind, body, and spirit. The primary focus of Ayurvedic medicine is to promote good health, rather than fight disease. But treatments may be recommended for specific health problems.
- daily meditations and tea time. Anxiety is a bitch.
- Get my hands on books. Read everyday. Its calming and its good for the brain and it makes me the most smartest. I have a ton of books on my must read list and I need to get started.
- Practice my German. Deutsch ist sehr gut und heisse, ja?
- no mater how tired or lazy I am must wash, tone, spot and moisturize twice a day every day. I want to look like a young exotic Mexican maiden when i hook up with someone, not Wrinkleford Pimplestein.
-Look for a new job. New job= more money (hopefully), more money = attending cultural events, dining at finer establishments, being able to afford Whole Foods without it eating my paycheck, being financially independent, traveling more and buying finer things (Tom Ford perfume swoon.)
- Be ambitious, be cunning, be determined.
I’m coming for you Hannibal type man.